‘Remember Me Darling’: Memory, Masculinity and Morality in the Last Letters of RAF Bomber Command, 1939-1945

ABSTRACT Across military service, fighting personnel have continually made efforts to provide comfort to loved ones beyond the grave. The ‘last letter’, a practice in which servicemen would write a letter to be given to parents or loved ones in the event of their death, makes a rich site to explore intimate and profound expressions of selfhood, morality, and society. Across temporal, geographical, and cultural spaces, these letters capture a moment when someone is forced to confront their mortality. As a distinct genre of writing, last letters provide an insight into how airmen conceptualised and interacted with national discourses around their service, identity, experiences, and memorialisation, during the war itself. Unlike letters, diaries, and memoirs, the last letter in particular speaks to how airmen sought to be remembered whilst still serving. Through an intimate analysis of last letters, this article explores how aircrew faced their own mortality, negotiating their masculine, national, and spiritual identities and communicated this to their loved ones.


Introduction
There is one other great note in that wonderful tragedy of death and war -the Last Letter.Like a voice from the past, like a voice from the grave, like the touch of a vanished hand, it sets restirring the heart-strings of those who live to mourn the fallen. 1 Like so many of his colleagues, past and present, Pilot Officer Arthur Schofield took to his bunk and wrote a final letter to be sent to his parents in the event of his death. 2He told them that he thought it was 'queer really, even thinking I may never see you again' but assured them he had 'no regrets'. 3With the highest casualty rate of the armed forces, and fatalities exceeding a total of 55,000, it is unsurprising that bomber aircrew made efforts to comfort their loved ones and prepared plans to distribute belongings and finances for a future in which they no longer existed. 4npicking what this meant in the context of RAF Bomber Command, as airmen faced a technological total war alongside competing martial and domestic masculine ideals, the last letter is a fruitful site to explore how airmen 'engage [d] in the messy work of . . .composing an acceptable sense of self' for both themselves and their loved ones. 5The act of writing was both an incredibly emotional experience for the writer, and an opportunity to articulate a 'final' version of himself that would become his legacy as a veteran, a son, a husband, and a father.This article thereby takes the last letter as 'all that remains of the writer', and analyses how airmen sought 'to set the record straight . . . to justify what they were doing and to make sure that their loved ones understood how they felt about them' during the war itself. 6he last letter itself first requires some explanation. 7They could be written months, or even years, in advance, or in one's final moments.Some wrote multiple last letters, some planned and wrote structured, considered farewells, and some wrote rushed, overwhelming feelings of fear and intimacy.Popular histories by Price and Day-Lewis collate last letters from the French Revolution to 21st century conflicts in the Middle East, and the Second World War respectively, and demonstrate not only the longevity and prevalence of last letter writing, but also the last letter as a site of profound emotional expression as one confronted their mortality. 8Of particular significance is Max Jones' analysis of Captain's Scott doomed polar expedition, and his 'Message to the Public'.Analysing the 'combination of science, empire, and manliness', in Scott's parting words, Jones reveals a society 'preoccupied with the endurance of hardship as a test of character'. 9hese themes persist in the last letters of airman, and the operational climate under which they served.Crews faced ongoing risks of aerial flight, human error, mechanical failure, weather and chance, alongside the physiological strain of 'noise, vibration and gravity', which meant crews were under enormous strain for prolonged periods of time. 10arris even admitted in his memoirs that 'scarcely one man in three could expect to survive his tour of thirty operations' and 'they knew it'. 11Underwhelmingly characterised as stress or fatigue, the psychological impact of warfare was often understood in explicitly masculine terms of 'strength and character'. 12Drawing on sociological approaches to gender, namely by Raewyn Connell and Judith Butler, this research explores how hegemonic understandings of masculinity worked as a form of 'normative' personhood, nuanced by its deliberate construction and layers of performativity. 13Taking gender as a 'relational' concept, a spectrum of masculinity and femininity -actively informed by hierarchies of class, race and culture -this research analyses the subjective male experience of bomber aircrew. 14In negotiating these constructed ideals, heightened during conflict and in homosocial institutional spaces, gender is both actively and subconsciously performed. 15qually significant here are the connections airmen made regarding the morality of warfare.The nature of the Combined Bomber Offensive has attracted considerable public, political, and scholarly attention. 16As such, the human experience of aircrew has been overshadowed by political, historical, economic, religious and military debates, 'regarding its strategic aims, conduct, costs, results, and morality'. 17Concerned with the conditions under which these men served, this article unpicks the emotional interiority and subjective experiences of the men who took part.In their memoirs, Frances Houghton observed that there is little to 'no sign at all of the disenchantment' of the First World War, and instead found that Second World War veterans were quick to 'correct' any sense that servicemen 'ought to feel guilty or victimised by their wartime experiences'. 18Whilst Martin Francis has suggested that 'during the war itself bomber aircrew had little opportunity or desire to visit the issue of air power ethics', the last letters of these airmen instead show explicit formulations regarding morality and position themselves, and their service, in line with ideas of a 'Good War'. 19ikewise, it is necessary to consider these letters in light of historiographies of modern religion, superstition, and spirituality.Though last letters do not fall into the category of 'superstition', there are explicit references to ideas around luck, religion, and fatalism.'A perennial feature of military life', fatalism refers to the belief that your death, or survival, was predetermined at the hands of an external, supernatural force.As Snape observes, because 'it's symptoms were essentially the same, the metaphysical basis of soldiers' fatalism was extremely difficult to ascertain'. 20Showing a mix of divine providence, modern technological warfare and 'agnostic nihilism', soldiers often expressed fatalistic ideas in line with diffusive Christianity. 21As Jalland argues, the 'Christian religion played a diffuse but pervasive role in responses to death and bereavement up to the 1960s'. 22xhibited here, diffusive Christianity refers to the ways in which 'Christianity infused public culture and was adopted by individuals, whether churchgoers or not, informing their own identities'. 23As such, the linguistic expressions of religion, fate, and spirituality in the last letters are read here less as an explicit expression of Christian faith, and more as ambiguous expressions of meaning, purpose and morality.
In the context of RAF Bomber Command, in a culture that 'obliged men to suppress their feelings', and wider shifts in gender norms for men and women both as stoic mourners, last letters offer an insight into the emotional interiority of these men. 24This article analyses the impact of mortality on these men's expressions of masculinity, not only as aircrew but also as 'sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, lovers'. 25If, as Lucy Noakes has argued, 'emotions . . .were a resource to be mobilised for the war effort', then the last letter can be read as both an effort to reconcile one with their own fate, and as a source of comfort for loved ones. 26Hoping they would never be received, they were written as an intimate act of self-expression and the interior processing of the realities of warfare, whilst performing a particular version of the 'self' for loved ones: one they hoped would shape their memory.The act of writing could be immensely personal, as they reflected on the most intimate workings of their psyche.And yet, it was entirely performative: the last letter exists to be read.They held a dual purpose for aircrew in the private processing of morality, and the public performance of identity.In writing these letters airmen performed an act, that of ''doing' of emotion . . . to initiate something upon the recipient". 27t was a final attempt to cultivate or determine how one is perceived and how one is remembered.Recognising the significance of the familial, romantic, and professional relationships in the field, it is possible to understand deeper facets of the airman's sense of self.
Letters, diaries, and memoirs have been understood as a way to understand 'historically specific forms of a hybrid masculinity': the last letter too must be read in these terms.This 'hybrid masculinity' must be extended to recognise the distinct operational climate for airmen, existing at the boundaries of the martial and civilian worlds.As they too drew on elements of past, present, and I argue, future identities, airmen were able to construct and present a version of the self for both them and their loved ones. 28xamining these letters in this way, trends emerge in the expression of the gendered self in three distinct ways: nationhood, coming of age, and spirituality.Section one first takes last letters that were written to parents -predominately the mother.These letters were often filled with ideas of national pride, chivalry and heroism and sought to assure their parents that airmen were proud of their roles in the war, and ready to die.In contrast, section two takes those written to airmen's wives and analyses romantic and paternal identities.Whilst there remained a sense of readiness and contentment, these letters offered much more sorrowful and bitter-sweet goodbyes.Finally, section three analyses the references to spirituality in last letters, including religion, morality, feelings of fate, premonitions, or an afterlife.For some, the act of writing such a letter could symbolise that one had 'given up': it was a kind of jinx, premonition or acceptance of death, rather than a last resort.Elsewhere, assertions of duty were emboldened with ideas of social morality, ethics of war, and hopes for a better future for their communitieswhether or not they lived to see them.
Taking each of these themes, it is possible to understand multiple facets of the airmen's sense of self.In examining the last letters of airmen in this period, Houghton's assertion that memoir writing provided a space for veterans 'to articulate recoverable memories as an act of catharsis' is particularly useful. 29Last letters, I argue, offer a similar, yet distinct, function.Written as one served (or prepared to), instead of in the years that followed, last letters afforded the airman an alternative space for emotional exploration.These letters created a space for the airman to mediate his identity, across professional and temporal spaces and as a space to reflect upon on the past, in the context of a future in which he no longer lived.As Jay Winter asserts, the very act of remembering, must itself be considered a performative act: it 'existed in a social framework, the framework of the collective'. 30As such, I argue that last letters, among other things, provided a space for airmen to anticipate and respond to the processes of both grief and bereavement.With expressions of grief distinctly coded by class, gender and religion, these letters can be used to inform these cultures within a particular point of individual and communal mourning. 31Firstly, it enabled him to process the prospect of his own death and reflect upon the realities of his loved ones' futures in his absence.Secondly, it allowed him to create a posthumous, albeit limited, line of communication with them to support and mediate the mourning of his survivors.As Jalland observes, a 'good' death in Victorian Britain relied on 'a Christian home and supportive family'. 32As cultures of mourning shifted in the 1930s and 1940s, I argue that last letters can be understood as an effort to return to this ideal.In the operational climate of RAF Bomber Command, with such a physical distance between the deceased and his loved ones, last letters made an attempt to provide a bridge to a 'good' death.If, as Winter believes, grief 'is a state of mind' and 'bereavement a condition', then the last letter enabled the airmen to grieve for their own future and facilitate the bereavement for their loved ones. 33As a cultural code of mourning and remembrance, last letters could provide airmen with a familiar framework through which to articulate and divulge inner workings of the self to their loved ones.Most importantly, this could also simultaneously honour and conform to broader national, social, cultural, and military norms and traditions, whilst asserting a distinct sense of self and individuality.

Sons
Negotiating confrontations with national ideals, morality, and mortality saw airmen make deliberate efforts to consolidate a version of the self for loved ones.For many, this culminated in a final letter to their mothers.With the 'historical imaginings of the soldier hero . . .and the patriotic mother' so deeply entrenched in British national identity, this is perhaps unsurprising. 34In the First World War, as Michael Roper has demonstrated, servicemen's letters and correspondence were used to present a version of identity and experience to the mother, as the 'emotional barometer for the family'. 35The last letters of airmen in the Second World War illustrate the endurance, and the evolution, of these 'culturally gendered emotions' as one of the key facets of British nationalism. 36In their last letters, these young men made deliberate efforts to present themselves in line with normative masculinity.Through the presentation of duty, chivalry, and heroism in their goodbyes, 'the endurance of emotional pain was framed as a national quality', but also a gendered one. 37Ultimately the airman sought to illustrate his identity as one brimming with national pride, through him having completed a transition into manhood.
One of the most prolific examples of the last letter, comes from 'an anonymous airman to his mother'. 38Later revealed to be FO Vivian Allen Rosewarne, a Canadian pilot stationed at RAF Marham, this young man's parting words to his mother were read up and down the country, translated into multiple languages, and even inspired a fiveminute propaganda film. 39Rosewarne's Station Commander described the letter as 'perhaps the most amazing one [he had] ever read; simple and direct in its wording, but splendid and uplifting in its outlook', and asked to 'publish it anonymously . . .[to] bring comfort to other mothers'. 40Noakes argues that Rosewarne and his letter 'came to represent a shared international determination in the face of a powerful enemy'.Despite being Canadian, Rosewarne was able to become a distinctly British 'symbol of imperial unity'. 41By capitalising on the anonymity of his letter, I argue, Rosewarne and his letter were able to become an extension of this 'quintessentially modern confrontation with death'. 42Supposedly able to embody the character, experiences and sentiments of 'an average airman', the letter offered an adapted, but familiar, mode of memory for the British public.As Laura Wittman has demonstrated, the international cultural significance of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier has persisted. 43Perhaps then, Rosewarne's Station Commander deliberately sought to tap into the universal 'history of bereavement . . .during and immediately after the Great War'. 44n an effort to console his mother, Rosewarne wrote with a distinct sense of authority, assuring her that he was not only proud of his service, but also that he felt that he had lived a full life, and as such, he was ready for death.At only 23, Rosewarne wrote that 'at my early age . . .I consider my character fully developed', telling his mother that he felt truly 'honoured to be the right age . . . to throw my full weight into the scale' and even thanked her for this.Perhaps most revealingly, he stated simply that 'no man [could] do more, and no one calling himself a man could do less'. 45He wrote that 'this war is a very good thing; every individual is having the chance to give and dare all for his principles like the martyrs of old'. 46Laden with ideas of manliness, duty and sacrifice, Rosewarne explicitly positioned 'the final test of war' as the crux of his masculine coming of age experience. 47As has been demonstrated, many servicemen directly engaged with linear 'coming of age' narratives.Often anticipating, and reflecting upon, a transformation in their sense of self, last letters could offer a space to reflect upon this perceived change, presenting it as complete in their assurances to their loved ones. 48or both him and his mother, Rosewarne subscribed to what Sonya Rose describes as the crux of wartime masculinity: 'individuality not individualism'. 49The RAF in particular ascribed to this ideal, celebrating the individual achievements of flyers, their character and heroism, whilst positioning them as a key part of wider cause.Rosewarne conformed to this and employed it to console his mother by informing her that his 'role in this war has been of the greatest importance'.He told his mother that she must 'hope on for a month, but at the end of that time [she] must accept . . .that [he had] handed [his] task over to the extremely capable hands of [his] comrades of the Royal Air Force, as so many splendid fellows have already done'. 50As Joanna Bourke demonstrates, martial spaces were explicitly established as collective, masculine and 'good', thus aligning the individual as feminine and negative. 51Throughout he celebrated his role as part of a larger collective, each flyer is a part of something much bigger than themselves, and they each celebrate this sense of camaraderie, their skills, and collective heroism.His words were situated at the boundaries of individualism and collectivism: he had 'done [his] duty to the utmost of [his] ability' and yet, was content to let his comrades continue the work. 52hilst the sense of duty, patriotism and sacrifice that emerges in Rosewarne's letter 'might be more readily associated with 1914 than 1940', it is necessary to review his parting words, and that of his colleagues, as more than simply 'elevated patriotism'. 53His fervent language speak to the negotiations of national duty, familial sacrifice and coming of age, and illuminate how many airmen engaged with such ideals.Sergeant John Ludgate for instance wrote that it was his 'last request' that his mother 'not grieve too much over' his death and described it as 'just one of those things'. 54The last letters of these men continually sought to console their loved ones by asserting that they had no regrets in their passing on, directly positioned in relation to the cause for which they were dying.In the First World War, many servicemen made requests for loved ones not to repatriate or move their bodies, and instead leave them where they fell. 55For airman, the retrieval of a body was particularly difficult due to the nature of combat.In the absence of traditional funeral and grieving practices, the last letter offered a medium for men to console loved ones.At just 19 years old, Sergeant Clough explicitly stated that he had 'no regrets dying for my country'. 56He continued: 'it is a grand country and any man who can call himself an Englishman should be proud to die in the struggle for freedom'. 57Ludgate was likewise just 21 when he wrote that he had 'no regrets for myself because I know that the cause for which I have given my liberty or possibly my life, is a noble one'. 58Flight Sergeant James Dunlop was 23 when he wrote that he had completed his duty, and like Rosewarne, even urged his mother to be proud that she had 'given a man to the cause'. 59irmen repeatedly sought to console parents that their lives, and more importantly their deaths, had meaning and purpose.Their duty to their nation, as Englishmen, was fulfilled.
Like many of his colleagues, Dunlop positioned his experience in the war, tied to his growing up in Britain, to his identity as a man.This was continually presented as a source of authority.He told them that 'Young as I am, I have lived in countries among free peoples and have grown to manhood loving the liberty [he] enjoyed'. 60He reflected on his life, writing that since his early childhood he tried to 'steer [his] own life along the path that led to the achievement of [his] ambition -to be a brain surgeon'.Grimly accepting that 'there is no hope of that now', he found 'that it was [his] duty for once 'to be cruel to be kind'.He took an active role in this new path, and told his parents that he had 'done his duty -completed [his] life's work'. 61Clough likewise made assertions of 'duty' and 'sacrifice', and attached them to his identity as a man, and furthermore, the morality of the national cause.He asked that 'every Englishman . . .keep the golden field and busy streets clean and fresh, and let him keep the air he breathes from the stench of Nazism'. 62Clough explicitly positioned his death as part of a national cause to protect British heritage, culture and identity. 63He asked his parents to 'Give this message . . . to all the people of England if it is possible: Let every Englishman fight to the last drop of blood in his body'. 64ssential to this, was also the presentation of themselves as skilled professionals, content in their life in the service.Clough told his parents that he had 'been very happy in the R.A.F.Life has been really happy' and continued that he even intended 'to make a career of it'. 65George Warren likewise told his mother 'that [he is] happier here . . .The fellows here are a fine lot & the boys that fly along with me are six of the best'.He continued in a distinctly formal manner -'in addition, I like my job very much'. 66The captain of Lees crew, PO John Chatterton even wrote a letter of condolence to his parents, assuring them that despite only knowing Peter around six months, he and the crew 'really appreciated his presence', 'his long experience', and 'immense practical knowledge'. 67He continued that he 'shall always remember the cool, calm way' he handled the job: he was 'A1 in this respect'. 68Airmen continually made efforts to assure their parents that they were content in their roles in the RAF.At such a young age, these men actively presented to their parents that they were happy to serve.Not only had they relished in the military space professionally, but they also found happiness in their friendships, pride in their skills, and commitment to their duties.
Each of these sentiments illuminate how the airman positioned his masculine sense of self in line with nation, duty, and sacrifice.Within this, as the airman was able to amalgamate his martial identity, pride his service, duty and sacrifice, there was a grounding of his sense of self as 'son'.The last letters of these men suggest that regardless of any emphatic dedication to these beliefs, there existed a genuine desire to be remembered in line with these ideals.These men went to considerable efforts to reflect upon their sense of selves as men who had grown from boyhood into manhood and sought to assure their parents that they were content to serve.Whilst it is impossible to discern the extent to which these airmen earnestly adhered to these ideals of nation, duty, and heroism, their parting words indicate their desire to be remembered as such.Described as showing 'no brag or bluff in a boy's last letter to his mother', Rosewarne's letter was presented as an authentic expression of national duty.Though undeniably more complex, his letter speaks to the ways in which the airman engaged with performative, hypermasculine ideals.These last letters reveal that as these men connected to the idea of transition, they in part genuinely engaged with national ideals, and most importantly, wanted to be remembered as such.They reflected upon their lives, as pre and post 1939, and presented their sense of identity as grounded in the familial space, to motivate and sustain their identity in the martial space.If, in turn, we look to the letters sent to partners, this remains true albeit in a slightly different way.

Husbands
Of the last letters collated and examined here, letters to sweethearts are less common.The majority of those used here were from men between nineteen and twenty-five years old, which corresponds with the average age of death, which was just twentythree for those serving in Bomber Command.As a consequence of their youth, this could reflect the privileging of the familial identity as son, rather than husband or father, as airmen negotiated their domestic identities within the home alongside their martial roles.Still, the last letters that were sent to partners continue to evidence the grounding of the masculine sense of self in the domestic sphere.In contrast to the expressions of national duty that were presented to parents, the last letters to wives and girlfriends instead indicate a differing sense of vulnerability.There undoubtedly remains elements of the airman as a stoic, devoted patriot, yet this was outweighed by their identities as husbands and fathers in a future in which they are unable to fulfil them. 69s airmen made distinct formulations about love, marriage, and fatherhood, their reflections of selfhood are seemingly grounded in the future for which they are absent.In their letters to wives, airmen made few references to the notions of sacrifice and national duty present in letters to parents, and offered consolation through a different lens.Whilst Jalland observed that airmen's families insisted to Chaplain's delivering the bad news that 'their beloved sons or husbands would have wished them to be strong and stoical', romantic relationships differ slightly in their methods. 70Instead, they prioritise their romantic partnerships, reminding their wives that they gave these men a true sense of purpose, comfort, and happiness.Milling wrote that 'my life has been happy enough.The last six years have been everything a man could desire a perfect wife and pal'. 71More than this sense of companionship, he described their relationship as offering him a sense of completion in his identity as a man.Milling directly equated a happy marriage and dutiful fatherhood with 'good' masculinity.He wrote of his wife as 'One whom [he] could give all [his] love and devotion to, & know that it would not be wasted.One whom [he] knew would return [his] love with just as much fervour and devotion'. 72Feeling unable to write more deeply, he told her that he 'can't say much more.I haven't said much but what I have, comes from the bottom of my heart, & if I had my time over again I would do exactly what I have already done'.Instead of finding a transitionary experience during combat, he describes the beginning of the most meaningful part of his life upon entering marriage.Subtly then, he positioned any transitionary feelings in his sense of self in line with purpose and meaning he found in his marriage: should he be able to live his life again, he would 'Marry the sweetest girl in the world' just the same. 73ithin this, airmen sought to illustrate a sense of permanence in their feelings.Ian Wynn attempted to comfort his wife by writing that 'In conclusion dearest all I have ever done & if for you & the boys although I have many times annoyed, disappointed & let you down', and closed by stating that he had 'always loved [her] & always will'. 74He made deliberate efforts to assure her that his role as husband and father gave him a true sense of purpose, and offers a reflection of his shortcomings before concluding, and almost compensating from these, by emphasising the longevity of his romantic feeling and the depth of his love for her.More than this, John Turner hoped that his wife can 'find it in [her] heart to think of [him] a bit more kindly', urging her to remember perhaps their good times, his sacrifice and his good qualities over any difficulties they might have had. 75In writing their goodbyes, airmen reflected upon their sense of purpose within the home and family, and extended this into how they wanted to be remembered.Recognising their flaws, they hoped that in their absence their wives and children would honour them as happy, kind, and loving family men rather than brave and heroic pilots.
Integral to the airman's sense of self as a husband, was their sense of self as a father.Reflecting upon the eventuality of a future in which there absent, they each made distinct efforts to offer advice or instruction over how their children should be raised, should they be unable to fulfil their parental duties.Wynn recognised the 'great responsibility' that his death would leave his wife in raising their two boys.He found comfort knowing she would 'always do [her] best for them' and offered his own wishes for their lives.He asked: 'Please dont coddle them.Many times they will do things that make you fear for them & their safety, but if they have the confidence to carry out there exploit dont try to hinder them You must encourage them to be self reliant' [sic]. 76Reflecting on the possibility of his death, and his subsequent absence in his children's lives, he considered who he wanted his children to be, and his legacy as a father.
John Turner similarly asked his wife to 'Teach them how to live with all people', as this would 'sow the seeds of happiness in their hearts'. 77Wynn continued by stating that he 'would like them to complete their vocational training then travel abroad, if possible, & doing anything if necessary for say two, or 3 years'.He explains that this would allow them to 'gather a wealth of experience and get an outlook on life that will get them anywhere'. 78At the core of his requests, is not just the desire for children to be successful, independent people who must learn for this themselves in his absence, but he also coded these ideas with his understanding of what it means to be a man: they must learn to work, to provide and to be confident in themselves.With him unable to offer this guidance as they grow up, he sought a sense of control in urging his wife to 'impress them that they will get nothing without working for it & that they will only get out of life what they put in it'. 79dward Milling, though similarly privileging his understanding of himself as a father, offered less instruction and more of a sense of loss and longing.He told his wife not to be too upset, as she had their 'little girl now to think of; and she is worth all the love which you have for me, so look after her & love her for me dear'. 80Milling reiterated to his wife for her 'to love & take care of [their] little girl' and urges her to 'Bring her up to be everything that you are, & you will have a daughter to be proud of'. 81His instructions seem to come from a different place.Rather than asserting a sense of paternal duty, control, and direction in the transformation of their sons from boys into men, Milling's requests come from a desire to honour the love they have for each other in their marriage.Somewhat resigning to his fate, he wrote: life is a funny thing dear.All the years we have been married . . .we have just had the two of us to love each other, now, when we have someone to share our love, & really complete happiness, I have to leave you, but I guess that is how it was meant to be.I am not grumbling. 82s tone was a paradoxical blend of contentment and stoicism: he wrote in an accepting, matter of fact manner, and yet with intense emotional vulnerability.Despite the sense of their wives, they did not urge them not to mourn and to honour their sacrifices, as many requested of their parents, and instead urged them to channel their love and heartache into their families and children.At their core, these letters demonstrate how airmen grounded themselves as fathers and husbands, and found purpose, meaning and happiness in their domestic adult lives.For many, this extended into an ambiguous sense of the supernatural or the spiritual.

Spirituality
As he considered the prospect of a future in which he would no longer exist, the airman repeatedly made profound reflections on his relationship with morality.In doing so, their letters were often rich with spiritual, religious, and supernatural ideas.Reassessing Martin Francis's suggestion that 'relatively few flyers believed that their fears would be mitigated by earnest subscription to the abstract notions of God, King and Country', it becomes evident here that the airman was often deeply connected, in some way, to the former. 87For many, the reflections on society, the future, and the morality of warfare were done in explicitly religious, and Christian, terms.Beyond this, language and beliefs which speak to expressions of discursive Christianity are often found. 88Likely to be a consequence of the cultural tools and language available to them in Christian Britain, it is necessary to exercise caution when analysing the presence of a genuine religious commitment or a more ambiguous spiritual feeling.Equally significant here is the connections airmen made regarding the morality of warfare.In their last letters, airmen continually demonstrate a strong sense of morality and position themselves, and their service, as clearly endorsing ideas of a 'Good War'.Jonathan Fennell's work teaches us that there was a clear 'disconnect' between the Churchillian rhetoric of united national front and the realities of combatants' experiences, arguing that for the civilian-soldier to remain motivated to serve, 'the state had to offer something in return'. 89For many, this was tied to bigger ideas of their sense of self, the meaning of life and human purpose, as well as their thoughts on social morality, and profound ideas about how humans should live in society.
For Pilot Officer Michael Scott the last letter, on two occasions, provided him with a space to make distinct formulations about his family, life and death, and the human experience, beyond middle class 'stiff upper lip' which he terms 'the crust of gentlemanly reserve'. 90In his letters, Scott also spoke explicitly about his understanding of life and death, writing that he had 'always had a feeling that our stay on earth, that thing which we call "Life", is but a transitionary stage in our development'.He comforted his parents, assuring them 'that the dreaded monosyllable "Death" ought not to indicate anything to be feared': he knew that 'Life was merely a 'fling', and having had his, he 'must now pass on to the next stage, the consummation of all earthly existence'. 91Whilst there was undoubtedly an element of stoicism in his writing, as he offered a final 'word of comfort', he also found meaning, understanding, and even motivation from a spiritual place.Reminding his parents of his hatred for war, Scott told them that 'what [had] kept [him] going [was] the spiritual force to be derived from Music'.As he explained that music could reflect his 'own feelings', he attributed it with 'the power . . . to uplift a soul above earthly things' and even positioned death as a step on his journey 'to the source of Music'.In doing so, it would allow him to 'fulfil the vague longings of [his] soul in becoming part of the fountain whence all good comes'. 92Whilst Scott rejected formal religious observance and subscription to the Christian faith, he positioned his life, and his purpose in the war, in relation to a spiritual belief in a creator and an afterlife.He wrote that he had 'no belief in a personal God, but [he did] believe most strongly in a spiritual force which was the source of our being and which will be our ultimate goal'. 93The way Scott described music is not dissimilar to Christian understandings of God as an omnipotent creator and the afterlife.
In his second letter, Scott expanded on this spiritual experience, and described war as having 'shown [him] new realms where man is free from earthly restrictions and conventions': his death would thus enable him to experience a transition into a new phase of existence.Explicitly attaching this to the romantic joy of flight, he wrote that this was 'where he [could] be himself playing hide and seek with the clouds, or watching a strangely silent world beneath, rolling quietly on, touched only by vague unsubstantial shadows moving placidly but unrelenting across its surface'.He urged his parents not to 'pity [him] for the price [he has] had to pay for this experience . . .[it was] incalculable . . .so why worry?'. 94Likewise, in Harold Yeoman's last letter, he rejected the formal ideas of religious mourning and belief, and still wrote in anticipation of life after death'. 95Rather than taking issue with the idea of an afterlife, he wrote a poem about his body becoming one with nature, asking his wife to take his ashes to, 'The wild hills that I love, and scatter my dust upon the moor with the painted sky above'.The sense of permanence in the proximity of his soul to his loved ones after his death was even explicitly attached to the romantic joy of flight in the lines 'There, I'd be always near you, And by you gaily flying'. 96For Yeoman, the ideas of 'funeral services', and his friends 'clad in clothes of crepe', was unnecessary.His body could be given back to the earth, and his soul not need be 'commend [ed] . . . to heaven', as he would instead continue to fly alongside those he cared for. 97till some airmen did express these considerations through more formal religious observance.For Rosewarne, the notion of an afterlife was implicit in his repeated use of the phrase 'earthly mission'.He urged his mother not to mourn because if she 'really believe [d] in religion and all that it entail[ed] that would be hypocrisy'.He had 'no fear of death; only a queer elation'. 98Not dissimilarly, John Ludgate whilst he knew his mum would mourn his death, urged her to 'try and think of it as a temporary parting'.He continued that he believed he was 'in God's care & that if it is his will to take [him] from this war-torn world, that it is for the good of all & that . . .[they] shall meet again in a far happier world where there are no partings or sorrow'. 99osewarne explicitly attached this to his moral understanding of the war, describing it as the 'greatest organized challenge to challenge to Christianity and civilization that the world has ever seen'.He continued that 'we are sent to this world to acquire a personality and character to take with us that can never be taken from us'.Read alongside the notion that he believed his character to be 'fully developed', feelings of religious purpose and meaning emerge.Taking his life on earth as merely one stage in his existence, one which 'our Creator' 'test[s] our metal', Rosewarne's reflections of self, civilisation, and war are in explicitly religious terms. 100He emphasised that his sense of self as a man, and as an airman, was not only his true self, but also one that was permanent and would persist in the afterlife.
Cyril Barton equally expressed his understanding of the war, and national duty, in explicitly Christian terms.Telling his parents how he felt about 'meeting [his] Maker', he wrote simply that 'all I can say about this is that I'm quite prepared to die', and attached this acceptance to the prospect of divine judgement. 101He knew that he should 'survive the judgement because [he had] trusted in Christ as [his] own saviour'. 102Barton similarly expressed to his mother his confidence in this matter.He described the process of questioning his faith, whether he had 'been right believing what [he does]', particularly during the war, and reasoned that 'in the little time [he'd] had to sort out intellectual problems' he was left with 'a bias in favour of the bible'.Writing about his sweetheart Doreen, he told his mother that whilst 'she, too, will find the blow hard to bear . . .there is a text that we have often quoted to each other and is written in the "Daily Light" she gave me -Roman 8.28'.Referring to the passage 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose', he simply wrote that 'it's true'. 103He even told his mother that he felt 'the sincere conviction' as he wrote of 'a force outside [himself] and [his] brain', and that his only remaining anxiety lies in his mother and the rest of the family coming to know God. 104Articulated here as a somewhat 'intellectual' question, Barton stressed this as an exercise in reason before concluding in the existence of an external 'force' for purpose and meaning.Michael Scott's last letter, though less explicitly Christian likewise found spiritual meaning in justifying both the war and its conduct.He directly positioned the defeat of Nazism in line with his understanding of music and a spiritual 'ultimate goal': If there is anything worth fighting for, it is the right to follow our own paths to this goal and to prevent our children from have their souls sterilized by Nazi doctrines.The most horrible aspect of Nazism is its system of education, of driving in instead of leading out, and of putting the state above all things spiritual.And so I have been fighting. 105milarly, Eric Rawlings offered an assurance that he knew what he was giving his life for and indicated a sense of wider meaning.He wrote: Whenever there's fighting going on anywhere, you can always hear the words from people not involved -'Half of them don't know what they're fighting about anyway'.Which is usually true.Well, I know what I'm fighting for.I'm fighting so that in the future people will have the chance to live as happily as we all did together before the War without interference.Where young un's like myself could make the most of the marvellous opportunities which you gave me for twenty years and for which I know you made many sacrifices. 106is sense of purpose in humanity, social connection and prosperity for the community comes through elsewhere.John Turner asked his wife to teach his children 'how to live with all people', and John Ludgate wrote that he had 'no regrets' as he gave his 'liberty' for a 'noble' cause. 107He further asked 'those whom [he had] left behind to devote their entire lives to the task of making this world a better & more lovely place'. 108ames Dunlop also found meaning in this sense of liberty, positioning his duty was beyond that of his country, but also to 'humanity'.He reflected on the privileges he experienced living 'in free countries among free peoples', and continued that 'Here all has not been easy for me in life nor was freedom so widespread as it might have been for others.Still, progress was being made along the correct lines'. 109He finds meaning in the idea of progress, and continued that 'That progress must never be stopped by anyone or anything.All men must learn to live at peace with his fellow men and to grant to all, regardless of station or both, creed or color, the same rights and privileges which he himself desires or enjoys.Class distinction MUST be wiped out'. 110ithout confessing to an explicit or earnest sense of faith or religious identity, Dunlop wrote that if there is a God, he did not intend that his creatures should live amid hate and distrust here on earth as a preparation to entering his kingdom.If we are to live with God we must learn first to live like God or as he would have us live.In other words we must work out our own Salvation. 111 continues and does subscribe to the principles of Christianity, but makes a distinct caveat.Writing that 'Jesus was and is the formula; it is up to us to follow the formula to each the same amount.By this I do not intend to condone the organised bodies of men & women which dictate the rules, judge the participants and ostracize the sinners', he reflects that this is an entirely personal and individual experience.He continued, recognising that one did not need religion, or must ascribe to a faith, and instead concluded that 'Each man to his own life, his own belief or lack thereof and to his own morals or code of ethics'.For himself, he recognised that his path had changed, having previously wanted to be a brain surgeon, and whilst 'there is no hope of that now . . .[his] death may make it possible for some other lad to do the work I envisioned for myself', and even wrote that it gave him comfort in his death to 'go in that belief, be it vain or otherwise'. 112s Dunlop recognised that 'dropping bombs [was] a far from medicine', he believed that 'it was [his] duty for once to 'be cruel to be kind'.He wrote that he hated 'killing and suffering with all [his] soul yet [he has] killed and caused suffering'. 113Explicitly recognising the reality of his actions, grounding himself in experience of war and the consequences of his 'duty', he reasoned that 'If [he was] to be excused' -by some external force or God -it 'must be on the grounds that [he] killed the few to save the many'.
His letter went to great lengths to explain and justify his role in the war, writing that Naziism has, and would continue, to destroy truth and independent thought without which we must inevitably suffer and die . . .deaths of the soul and mind as well as the body!If there is no thought there is no freedom, no progress, no life. 114or Dunlop the meaning is expressed in line with Christian language and belief but seemed to extend beyond this into a more universal sense of human experience, meaning and purpose.The war, and his experience in service further offered him a sense of authority that is evidenced above.He wrote that, 'If there is any message which the coming generation should have from mine let it be . . .from us who have fought and died to make future generations . . .possible.Let the message be this -we have cleared the site and laid the foundations -you build'. 115For him, meaning is found in two ways: 'If there be any honours or rewards due me let them be these . . .One: That you regard me as worthy of being your son.And two that there come to pass at last "A Good Earth"'. 116onfronting the odds against them, airmen continually sought to find meaning in their lives and their service, looking to God or an ambiguous spiritual force to make sense of their lives, actions, and deaths, as well as asking their loved ones and future generations to honour their memories in the improvement of society.Though that could hold different meanings, often embroiled with diffusive Christianity, throughout there is the expression of their desires for a 'happier' world, with peace, opportunities and prosperity for all.Reflecting on their duties in a different moment than the war memoirists of later decades, there remained an earnest belief in the sense of duty, purpose and righteous cause of the war.

Conclusion
As the airman confronted the prospect of his death, the last letter provided a useful space to explore, reflect, and make sense of the different facets of his masculine identities.
Negotiating past identities, transformations of self, and the prospect of a future in which he was absent, airmen employed the last letter to cultivate a version of his identity for both him and his loved ones to memorialise.Existing at the boundary of life and death for both the author and recipient, the 'in the event of my death letter' occupied a unique space in the psyche of these airmen: at the boundary of his public and private personas.Like any letter, the last letter is defined by its reader: it is paradoxically written to be read and yet, it is hoped it never will be.As he confronted this, the last letter provided a way to mediate mourning for the airman's survivors, predominantly in line with his identity as either son, or father, and husband.By unravelling the private and interior negotiation of character in these letters, specific trends emerge which speak to the experience of nationalism, romance, and spirituality.
As he wrote to his loved ones, the airman overwhelmingly identified with a version of himself that existed in the family home.In writing to their mothers and fathers, these young men confronted the idea of their death and mitigated their parents mourning in line with national discourses of duty, heroism, and sacrifice.Frequently asserting to their parents that they 'had grown to manhood', airmen presented their wartime service as something transitionary, which afforded them the authority to write with conviction on national pride and martial sacrifice.In last letters, this transformation of identity was presented as already complete, and was employed by airmen to claim a degree of authority in writing to their parents.It enabled them to assure their mothers that they were happy with their choices, grateful for the love of their families, and thus content to face death.As the airman confronted the prospect of a future in which he was no longer here to their wives, he likewise presented a developed and complete version of himself, although in slightly different terms.The notions of sacrifice and duty are not found to underpin his contentment or mitigate his fear.Identifying as a husband, and father, these men reflected that they perceived themselves as men grounded in their sense of marital and paternal authority.Finally, if as Snape claims, 'the majority of British males believed in God', the men examined here are not unique. 117From the stoic requests for parents and wives 'not to grieve too much' or 'worry unduly', to the profound requests for readers 'devote their entire lives to the task of making this world a better & more lovely place', one finds significance in these 'last request[s]' as a form of spiritual purpose and greater cosmic meaning. 118Ultimately, then the last letters of these men demonstrate that aircrew were conscious of both their mortality and the morality of their actions, and subsequently sought comfort, meaning, and understating in spirituality and social purpose.
What becomes clear then, in examining the last letters of these airmen, is that as they negotiated their identities as sons, fathers, and husbands, they actively repackaged and repurposed the 'inflated rhetoric of duty to nation or the defence of western civilization' to include domestic and familial masculine identities in the memorialisation of themselves. 119As airmen negotiated, contemplated, and reflected the prospect of their death, the last letter provided a space to cultivate a version of himself for his loved ones to remember.Crucially, they reveal the multi-faceted nature of the airman's sense of self and the coexisting masculine identities they experienced and embodied.They sought to present a version of the self that amalgamated their personal, professional, and national identities into the presentation of themselves as complete in their identities as men.They used the last letter as a space to cement in the minds of their loved ones, their identity as simultaneously 'good patriot[s]', 'happy martyrs', and dutiful sons, fathers, and husbands. 120