There are three of us: parents’ experiences of the importance of teacher-student relationships and parental involvement in upper secondary school

Abstract The aim of this study was to obtain parents’ perspectives on the development and importance of teacher-student relationships (TSR) and parental involvement in upper secondary school. The study had a qualitative approach where 14 parents of upper secondary school students were interviewed. The data were analysed via a thematic analysis and organized into three main themes: (1) ‘The multitalented teacher’: mastering school subjects and personal relationships. (2) ‘Parents are responsible’: to support and guide students in teacher-student relationships. (3) ‘Between childhood and adulthood’: students must gradually take on more responsibility. The findings demonstrate that home and school are pivotal contexts in the lives of upper secondary students, and contribute to the development of a tripartite relationship between teacher, student, and parent (TSPR). Parental involvement is described as crucial, especially for students at risk. The study calls for awareness of how positive TSPR in upper secondary school can be developed.


Introduction
Most young people between the ages of 16 and 19 years attend upper secondary school; a large majority of these adolescents live with their parents. Upper secondary schools demand an increased effort in academic complexity and achievement. Many upper secondary school students struggle with these demands as well as motivation, achievement, and mental health issues. Teacher-student relationship (TSR) is a pivotal factor in students' achievement, motivation, and learning (Hattie, 2009;Roorda, Koomen, Spilt, & Oort, 2011). Recent research has discovered an association between students' mental health, dropout from upper secondary school and TSR. TSRs serve as both protective and risk factors with regard to student mental health and dropout (Krane, Karlsson, Ness, & Kim, 2016). International meta-studies also show that parental involvement and collaboration between schools and parents are significant factors in upper secondary school students' achievement (Desforges & Abouchaar, 2003;Jeynes, 2007). Home and school are significant contexts in the lives of most young people.

Parental involvement
The concept of parental involvement in education and school is multidimensional and includes a multitude of parental activities regarding students' education and learning processes. It comprises parents' interactions with schools and their children to promote the academic motivation, development, and achievement of students. The concept of parental involvement can be conceptualized in three dimensions: (a) direct engagement in students' learning processes, (b) communication with school, and (c) attitudes towards school (Catsambis, 2001;Hill & Tyson, 2009).
The first dimension describes parents' involvement, support, and engagement in students' schoolwork. This dimension includes home based strategies such as parental engagement and help with schoolwork. Parents can support students' learning processes by engaging in their learning activities (Catsambis, 2001). Some researchers include different parenting styles in this dimension, describing parental involvement on a spectrum from demanding to warm and involved (Mo & Singh, 2008) .
A second dimension of parental involvement is communication and collaboration between parents and school. This includes school-based activities such as parent-teacher conferences, parental volunteering, parents being present in schools, and parental participation in school governance (Hill & Tyson, 2009). The collaborative dimension also includes parent-initiated contact with schools regarding students' academic and behavioural activities, and communication regarding academic programs or student placement (Catsambis, 2001).
A third dimension of parental support is parents' attitudes towards school and their ambitions for their children. This includes parents' expectations for their children's education and their perceptions of education's value and utility (Hill & Tyson, 2009). Parents' ambitions for their children regarding schoolwork and effort influence students' achievement (Hattie, 2009). Parents' expectations and communication with their children about their ambitions can stimulate students intellectually and contribute to students' achievement.
A substantial number of studies have found that parental involvement is a significant factor in students' academic achievement, engagement, and performance (Desforges & Abouchaar, 2003;Jeynes, 2007). Overall, parents' direct engagement in their children's homework relates less to students' achievement as they grow older (Hill & Tyson, 2009;Jeynes, 2007;Mo & Singh, 2008). The importance of parents' collaboration and communication with secondary schools is less consistent, but does impact students' grades (Jeynes, 2007). The most consistent finding is that parental involvement via communicating expectations of students' performance, and creating understandings about the purpose, goals, and meaning of academic achievement is positively related to students' achievement as they grow older (Hill & Tyson, 2009;Jeynes, 2007). Parents' high educational expectations encourage educational attainments for students' in high school and above (Catsambis, 2001;Patrikakou, 2004).
Several studies have pointed out positive correlations between the degree of parental involvement and socioeconomic status (SES). Parents with higher education are more likely to engage in their children's schoolwork and communicate with schools (Jeynes, 2007;Mo & Singh, 2008). Paradoxically, other studies show that a positive collaborative relationship between parents and schools may be a protective factor for students from families with low SES (Desforges & Abouchaar, 2003).

Teacher student relationship
The TSR has during the past decades of research been recognized as pivotal factor in students' motivation, learning, and achievement (Cornelius-White, 2007;Hattie, 2009;Nordenbo, Larsen, Tiftikçi, Wendt, & Østergaard, 2008). Results from a large meta study shows that the TSR is even more important for students' engagement and achievement as they grow older (Roorda et al., 2011).
Teachers relationships with students are particularly important to an adolescents' developmental, emotional and psychological progress as teachers are present in their everyday lives (Pianta & Allen, 2008). A positive relationship with adults such as teachers is a significant protective factor for at-risk youth (Masten, 2001). TSR is important to facilitate positive peer relationships and to promote student well-being (Cattley, 2004;Schall, Wallace, & Chhuon, 2014). Recent research has also found an association between TSR, student mental health and upper secondary school dropout .
The TSR can be defined as the human interplay that develops in the interaction and communication between teacher and student (Krane, 2017). The development of TSR is influenced by individual, emotional, and human qualities but also by contextual factors such as multilevel systems that interact in a complex interplay (Bronfenbrenner & Morris, 1998;Sabol & Pianta, 2012). The TSR develops in interaction between multilevel systems such as the relationship between an individual teacher and student, the classroom environment, and the school organisation. From the perspective of developmental system theory, parents are essential microsystems that contribute to TSR development. As such, contact and collaboration between parents and school influences the TSR.
Taken together, home and school are both significant contexts in the lives of most young people. Teachers and parents share common goals for adolescents that are most effectively achieved by collaboration. Several studies have explore parent/school collaboration, and its importance to students' achievement.
However, though the importance of both parental involvement and TSR is recognized, research exploring the interplay between these two concepts is scarce. The aim of this study is to gain parents' perspectives on the development and importance of TSRs, and upper secondary school parental involvement. This aim is explored through the following two research questions: (1) How do parents experience the development and importance of TSRs in upper secondary school? and (2) How do parents experience parental involvement and its importance for TSR in upper secondary school?

Method
This study is a part of a larger study which focusses on exploring TSR, students' mental health, and dropout in the context of an upper secondary school in Norway. The study has a descriptive, explorative, and interpretive design. We chose a qualitative methodology as a means by which to acquire a deeper understanding of parents' experiences of TSRs.
The data were collected in focus group interviews. Fourteen Norwegian parents, five men and nine women, with upper secondary school children were recruited as participants by strategic selection. Participants were interviewed in two focus groups. Focus group interviews generate data through discussions and meaning making between participants (Kitzinger, 1994;Malterud, 2012). Focus groups are appropriate to explore relational phenomenon since intersubjective dialogues are created between participants in an interview setting (Borg, Karlsson, Lofthus, & Davidson, 2011).
The study also has a participatory element; this tradition is often described as a way of doing research with people instead of on people (Borg, Karlsson, Kim, & McCormack, 2012;Borg & Kristiansen, 2009). In line with the participatory approach, a competence group of key stakeholders contributed to the research process (Borg et al., 2011). This group consisted of two students, two teachers, two parents, a school nurse, and a school psychologist. The competence group was involved in developing the research project, preparing the interview guide, and discussing how to conduct the study.

Analysis
A thematic analysis was used to obtain and systemize the participants' experiences and to explore a TSR's qualities and interactions. Thematic analysis is flexible concerning theoretical stance. The aim is to organize data into themes that are then subject to interpretation (Braun & Clarke, 2006). This study's thematic analysis involved a recognition that data analysis involves more than merely describing and representing 'stable truth' , and thus, places itself within an understanding of truth and knowledge as being multifaceted and interpreted (Crotty, 1998).
Although the description of the procedures our data analysis followed a typical step-by-step outline, steps in qualitative analysis are overlapping and difficult to separate. As such, the procedure can more aptly be described as a back and forth process between descriptive and interpretive dimensions of analysis, aiming to develop meaning and knowledge through interdimensional dialogue (Klevan, Davidson, Ruud, & Karlsson, 2016).
The focus group interviews were transcribed verbatim. Both authors then read the sets of data separately, searching for and taking notes of possible meaning units and interpretations. The meaning units were then given coding words. The two authors discussed and arranged the coded meaning units into subthemes, aiming to stay as close to the text as possible. The subthemes were then clustered and organized into preliminary themes, through an iterative back and forth process between text and evolving themes. The interpretations of the text and development of themes underwent thorough discussion, and the themes were reorganized recurrently between the authors before they were agreed upon.
Finally, the data were organized into three main themes.

Ethics
This study was approved by the Norwegian Social Science Data Services (NSD). Written informed consent was required before participation. Data were made anonymous through the transcribing process, by moderating or removing details that could entail the risk of participants being identified.

Findings
Three main themes were identified in the analysis: (1) 'The multitalented teacher': mastering school subjects and personal relationships.
(2) 'Parents are responsible': to support and guide students in teacher-student relationships (3) 'Between childhood and adulthood': students must gradually take on more responsibility (Table 1).

The multitalented teacher': mastering school subjects and personal relationships
This theme explores the parents' understanding and recognition of the complexity of a teacher's role. The parents describe the necessity of teachers being multitalented in terms of requisite relational and professional skills. The theme is explored through two subthemes: 'The great importance of a positive TSR' , and 'Teachers' complex situation needs to be recognized' .

The great importance of a positive teacher student relationship
All parents highlighted the great importance of the TSR, and described how positive relationships between teachers and students can promote students' motivation, schoolwork achievements and thriving in school. As one father states, ' … they work harder if there is a positive teacher student relationship in general …' Likewise, a mother expresses what she has seen as a TSR's important attributes: You notice if the mutual chemistry and respect is present, that teachers and students have respect for each other, then it's a lot easier for the teacher to teach and for the student to learn … that's how I experience it.
The parents described how they think teachers should establish and promote nurturing classroom environments. Another mother describes how a positive TSR should make students feel: 'The multitalented teacher': mastering both school subjects and personal relationships 'Parents are responsible': to support and guide the students in teacher student relationships 'Between childhood and adulthood': students must gradually take on more responsibility the great importance of a positive teacher student relationship Parents are responsible for promoting positive attitudes a shared responsibility for addressing relational challenges teachers' complex situation must be recognized collaboration between parents and teachers is essential a delicate balance between care and demand a positive relationship, it is about safeness, not to be afraid of walking into the classroom … be confident that the teacher wants them to do well … Parents also emphasize how they experienced that a positive relationship between teachers and students is especially important to students who have special challenges like risk of dropout, or mental health problems.
One mother talks about her experience of how teachers cared and focused especially on students she defined as 'at risk': ' … students that are at risk of dropout or have other problems. Many of these students get a lot of backing from the teachers …' Another mother talks about how teachers tried to help her son who has special needs: I think the teachers have done a great job really. They have really been eager to try to facilitate and customize … but there is something about this, we have not been able to establish the package he needs …

Teachers' complex situations must be recognized
The parents expressed how they respect and admire the teachers' role. They emphasize how they experience the teacher's role as a demanding, complex balance between emotional bonding and instrumental teaching. They describe that teachers must at once master school subjects and personal matters, and they saw this as a challenging balance requiring multiple skills. Professional skills in both relational matters and school subjects were described as a prerequisite for promoting respectful relationships. They discussed how difficult it must be for teachers who encourage and help students that are of risk of dropout. On the other hand, teachers are supposed to develop relationships through teaching and solid knowledge of school subjects. One father sums it up in this way: ' … so, in a way … as a teacher you are supposed to be multitalented and a master of all skills' Parents also highlighted how they found it important for teachers to be able to recognize individual students' needs and to customize relationships and teaching to each student. They discussed how challenging this could be in a classroom setting. One father describes the situation: … in some classes there are up to 30 students … how is it possible to individualize the approach to all 30 students if they all have special needs? That is really demanding. And it makes it difficult to establish a relationship

'Parents are responsible': to support and guide students in teacher-student relationships
The parents strongly emphasized the importance of their role in supporting and promoting positive teacher student relationships. They described how they, as parents, are responsible for guiding and helping their children develop relational skills. The subthemes 'Parents are responsible for promoting positive attitudes' and 'Collaboration between parents and teachers is essential' both explore this theme.

Parents are responsible for promoting positive attitudes
The participants' acknowledgement of parents' responsibility to promote positive attitudes towards teachers and school was a prominent finding of this study. Parents described parental attitudes as a very important aspect of encouraging positive TSR. The informants took a great deal of responsibility in guiding and supporting the development of their children's relational skills. As one mother says, ' … as parents we have a big responsibility to back the teacher in several ways …' The informants explained how they thought that parents are responsible for raising children to be responsible students who attend school and follow school regulations. They also described that parents can potentially reinforce negative experiences between students and teachers. As this father says, 'if a student tells the parents about a negative experience with a teacher and the parents boost the negative, then it becomes even more negative' .
The informants explained that they spent time exploring students' negative experiences with their teachers. They also tried to discuss, challenge, and negotiate these negative experiences.
One mother expressed it in this way: 'As a parent, you have the possibility of being a bit more balanced … And try to make them see the bigger picture (…) As a parent, if you keep drawing on the negative, that's very unfortunate' .
Challenging and balancing students' experiences also involves having a clear and reflected relationship to ones' own schooldays. One father says, to talk about school and teachers in a positive way. That is something we as parents can do. And should do. And not necessarily project negative school experiences over to our children. It's a bit like you said, that everyone … everyone 'knows' school. We are all experts.

Collaboration between parents and teachers is essential
To support students' schoolwork and TSR, parents highlighted that collaboration between parents and teachers is essential for a positive outcome for students at risk. The parents described their first-hand knowledge of their children and the challenges they face. They discussed how a holistic view of a students' life is important, and how parents can notice problems at home.
One mother explains her experience of her son's serious problems: … we are the ones who see the signs because we know him … We noticed it for a long time. He didn't show it at school, he really struggled too much to perform at school … The parents talked about the importance of parents being taken seriously, and that their opinions and knowledge about their own children must be respected by teachers. As one mother explains, ' … we have to be taken seriously and not treated just at hysteric mothers …' Parents whose children were at risk of dropout appreciated collaboration with teachers and schools. They explained the importance of talking to teachers about challenges and problems. As this father explains: … and when he started to drop out … it was important to have a kind of a bridge and contact with the school … then I could come home and say, 'I have talked to them' … and then he slowly started to show up again … Others said the school took too long to inform them. They thought that they could have collaborated better with the school if they knew earlier on that their children were skipping school.
One mother was shocked to learn of her daughter's problem with truancy: Suddenly I got a letter from school, it said that she did not attend English lessons. and that she would not get grades. I was at work every day and thought she was at school.
Parents said they could have helped their children had they known about such situations earlier on. They think information is important to developing positive collaboration and relationships between teachers and parents.

'Between childhood and adulthood': students must gradually take on more responsibility
This theme reflects the challenges and possibilities that parenting and teaching adolescents entails. Adolescents were described as 'in-between' , meaning that they need support and care from their parents and teachers, but also to gradually take on more responsibility for their education. As such, the development of TSRs was described as a shared responsibility. This theme is explored through the subthemes 'A shared responsibility for addressing relational challenges' and 'A delicate balance between care and demand' .

A shared responsibility for addressing relational challenges
Parents discussed students' responsibility to address relational challenges with their teachers. Parents described how they encouraged students to talk to their teachers if they were upset or experienced relational problems with them. In this way, they highlighted the importance of being responsible, relational role models.
Like one father says: Encourage the kid to take responsibility. 'Go and talk to your teacher if there's something you're dissatisfied with. Are you sure you got it right?' All that stuff. You shouldn't interfere too much, considering that they need to be set free, learn to take responsibility themselves. However, parents also described how it is important to support and help their children if they have problems at school or with their teachers. This was highlighted as especially important if they felt that their children were treated unfairly and felt alone in this situation. This was discussed in one of the focus groups: P1: If the student frequently come home and talk negative about a teacher I think there is a reason for it … P2: Yes, we should take the kid seriously.

P1:
It is important because it is a way of building up the kid to have their own opinions. And they should be heard, it is so important that you as a parent listen to your kid and take your kid seriously.
These situations were also described as dilemmas because students did not always want parents to interfere. However, they discussed their responsibility as adults to do 'the right thing' and talk to the teachers to try to solve the difficult relational situation. As one father says, 'When you as a parent do what you think is the right thing to do, the kid don't want you to do it … but I would have tried …'

A delicate balance between care and demand
The parents discussed upper secondary students' increased responsibility for their own motivation and learning. However, they experienced this as a delicate balance between care and demand.
On one hand, the parents described the importance of students taking responsibility for their own education. They highlighted that upper secondary is voluntary and that they should be treated like responsible students by teachers and parents. One father states the importance of increased responsibility: 'this is upper secondary school. then they are treated as adults: "you are the one who have applied, and you are the one who is going to graduate"' .
On the other hand, several parents claimed their children could not keep up with such a responsibility. They explained that students need support, recognition and guidance from parents and teachers. They also described how negative TSR could have a push-out effect on the students: 'if you are at risk … and you don't trust the teacher, and things go a little wrong, it is really easy to just skip school' .
On the other hand, they also explained that recognition from teachers could prevent students from dropping out: 'if they have a teacher who recognizes them … then they might get what it takes … and experience that it works after all …' .
Clear expectations from teachers were also described as important to the development of positive TSRs, and to help students to understand what it takes to achieve and perform well in upper secondary school. However, clear expectations had to be balanced with care and fairness. One mother explains how a teacher developed a positive TSR with her son: 'She was really strict … was clear on her demands to him. But he respected her because she was fair'

Discussion
This study's purpose was to obtain parents' perspectives on the development and importance of upper secondary school TSRs, and to explore their experiences of parental involvement and its importance for TSR. The parents said that upper secondary school TSRs promote students' achievement, helping them to thrive in school. They also described how they admired and respected teachers' challenging work and role. The parents emphasized their own responsibility to promote positive attitudes towards school and teachers. Collaboration between teachers and parents was described as essential to helping students at risk. The parents discussed how students should gradually take more responsibility for motivation, learning, and relationships with teachers as they grow older. However, they also emphasized how they as parents can promote positive TSRs and learning by balancing care and demand.
This study shows that TSR is not just a relationship between the individual teacher and student. Moreover, the findings show that parents emphasize teachers' , students' and parents' responsibility in developing TSR. This is in line with other qualitative studies where teachers and students highlight their shared responsibility to develop TSR Krane, Ness, Holter-Sorensen, Karlsson, & Binder, 2016). In this study, parents are particularly aware of their own responsibility for developing TSR. Parental emphasis on their admiration for teachers demanding role, can be understood as a way of showing respect and positive attitudes toward school and education. The parents claim that a teachers' academic and emotional skills are crucial to developing TSR. They emphasize this combination as demanding but important for the development of TSR. This finding is supported by other studies which also found the combination of emotional and academic dimensions as important aspects of TSR Woolfolk Hoy & Weinstein, 2006). In this way, parents demonstrate how positive attitudes towards teachers' workload and competence can be understood as parental involvement in the development of TSR. Another important finding is that parents aspire to act as relational role models to support and guide their children's development of relational skills in general and to help them develop positive TSRs in particular. The findings also show how parents can contribute to negotiate and prevent development of negative TSR. These aspects of parental involvement can be understood as a reflection of parents' socialization around the value and utility of education as described by Hill and Tyson (2009), and their awareness of the importance of encouraging students to develop positive TSR.
In this study, parents thought positive TSRs and collaboration between parents and teachers to be especially important for at risk youth. The parents acknowledge that a positive TSR and tailor-made solutions are essential for students at risk. This is in line with other studies that has found positive TSRs may serve as a protective factor especially important for students at risk of dropout or with mental health problems . However, students at risk tend to have negative TSRs compared to other students (Drugli, Klökner, & Larsson, 2011;Hamre & Pianta, 2001). Negative TSRs have been identified as a risk factor for students' lower self-esteem, poor mental health and upper secondary school dropout Muller, 2001). In addition, negative TSRs are found to be quite stable and persistent over time, thus avoiding negative TSRs is crucial (Drugli, 2013;Roorda et al., 2011). The findings in our present study focus on how parents can contribute to solve difficulties and challenges in the relationships between students and teachers by promoting positive attitudes and contributing to solve relational problems in TSR. It also shows that parental involvement faces obstacles such as poor communication between school and parents. Parents want to contribute with their first-hand knowledge, and engagement for their children. This finding shows that parents can and want to be valuable resources to prevent and solve negative TSRs. A positive collaboration between school and parents has been found to be a protective factor, especially important to students at risk (Desforges & Abouchaar, 2003). In addition, parental involvement has a positive effect on educational outcome regardless of SES and ethnic background (Catsambis, 2001).This calls for an awareness on how upper secondary schools can facilitate positive collaborations, especially with parents of students at risk.
This study demonstrates how parents experience the home context and they as parents play an important part in the development of TSR by promoting positive attitudes, interacting with their children, and collaborating with teachers. This is in line with a multilevel understanding of TSR development (Sabol & Pianta, 2012). From this perspective, the TSR develops from a multitude of interactions and collaborations between parents and students, students and teachers, parents and teachers, and all three together. Bronfenbrenner and Morris (1998) underline how it is essential for adolescents' development that there is a linkage and processes between two or more of an adolescent's settings. They also highlight that the home setting and parents is a prerequisite for adolescents to be able to take advantage of the social capital in their social network. This underlines this study's findings as parents emphasize their responsibility as relational role models to their children. However, as students grow older, parents encourage them to take on more responsibility for their education and TSR. The findings suggest that parents should monitor their children's ability to carry out this responsibility and balance their own involvement between care and demand. When students are at risk of dropout or have mental health problems, parents find it crucial to increase their involvement and to support and negotiate TSR. In this way, the TSR could be understood as a tripartite teacher-student-parent relationship (TSPR) developed through interaction, collaboration and negotiation.
The implications of this study greatly enhance school efforts and initiatives to support parental involvement in upper secondary schools. School management should facilitate and implement structures that promote parental involvement. When students are at risk of dropout or have mental health problems, it is particularly vital to involve parents to develop collaboration between the home and school context and to develop positive TSPR at an early stage. Teachers' educational programs should emphasize the importance of TSPR, and develop skills and strategies to involve parents in upper secondary school.

Methodological limitations and strengths
Findings from a qualitative study with a limited number of participants cannot be generalized. However, the purpose of a qualitative study like this is not to generalize but to explore and interpret lived experiences related to certain phenomenon. We do believe that the findings shared in this study show a variety and multifaceted parental experiences. Thus, the personal experiences shared and interpreted in this study could contribute to a deeper understanding and the knowledge base of parental involvement and TSR.
The study involved a participatory element. However, the involvement of the competence group was limited to the development of the study and the interview guide. An alternative approach would have been to involve the competence group in the analysis and composition of the article, as it would include perspectives of students, parents, and teachers.
Both authors of this article have worked as clinicians within mental health care and child welfare services. Moreover, they are both parents to young students. This brings the possibility of a bias in understanding the participants' experiences considering former experiences. On the other hand, the researchers' lived experiences can also make it easier to familiarize with the study's scope.
A limitation of using focus groups as a method of exploring parental involvement is the problem of distinguishing between the participants' expressed experiences of parental involvement and what seen as ideal. An alternative approach would be to interview parents, students, and teachers together as this would have brought in different perspectives and experiences.

Conclusion
The findings in this study emphasize the importance of developing collaboration between home and school contexts, especially when students are struggling. Parental involvement, and collaboration between parents and teachers can potentially develop more robust and solid TSRs, supported by both school and home contexts. This study calls for awareness of how to involve parents as valuable resources to prevent the development of negative TSRs and promote positive TSRs in upper secondary school. The findings of this study emphasise how parental involvement is crucial, especially for students at risk of dropout or with mental health problems. Students in upper secondary school are in a transition between childhood and adulthood. While these students are growing towards adulthood and independency, they are also in the need of support and guidance. Thus, demands and care need to be provided by parents and teachers simultaneously. To manage the delicate balance between demands and care, parents, teachers, and students must interact and collaborate closely. These interactions and collaboration are not fixed but must be negotiated and developed constantly in pace with the students' development and everyday challenges.
This study suggests that a flexible, dynamic, and tripartite relationship between teachers, students and parents (TSPR) is crucial to promote students' well-being in school. Positive TSPR may promote student achievement, and mental health, helping them to thrive in school and less likely to drop out.

Disclosure statement
No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

Funding
This work was supported by the Akershus County Council in Norway.